Episode 1: Purpose of Life - Whats Your Reason for Existing

Speaker 1 (00:28)Welcome to the Student of Life podcast. I am Courtney, and with me is my sidekick.
Speaker 2 (00:36)I'm Erica.

Speaker 1 (00:38)Who are you, Sidekick?
Speaker 2 (00:40)I am Erica. I am Courtney's wife.

Speaker 1 (00:43)You like being my sidekick?
Speaker 2 (00:46)No.

Speaker 1 (00:47)You hesitated. You hesitated. I didn't appreciate it. You know what? This is a crazy start already.
Speaker 2 (00:59)It is. You're not going to stop it. Let's do it again.

Speaker 1 (01:02)We don't have to stop. We're going to keep this going. We're going to keep it going, okay? So this episode that we're doing, this is about purpose and the reason that we exist. So we'll get us going. So what is the definition of purpose, babe?
Speaker 2 (01:22)By definition, purpose is something set up as an object or in to be attained an intention, resolution, determination, a subject under discussion or an action in course of execution. Also, purpose is the reason for which something is done or created or for which something exists. It's supposed to be a meaning in life, your guiding action, your decisions, and your goals.

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Speaker 1 (01:47)What I've experienced is that we always talk about purpose like it's supposed to be. I think it's set in stone, like if you don't find it, then you just don't have it. Or is this supposed to be the thing that you have for the rest of your life. But that's not actually true. Not from my experience. What do you think about that?
Speaker 2 (02:07)I don't think... Well, everyone has a purpose. Whether they find it or not, it's something completely different. That's a completely different conversation. Those of us who have a purpose, who find your purpose, we tend to live more fulfilled, more happy lives, a little bit longer lives, if you will. And I think that comes just strictly based on the fact that we have something to do, something to chase, something that matters, something that makes you want to get up in the morning.

Speaker 1 (02:37)So you really think that we all have a purpose? Because I think a little bit different about that.
Speaker 2 (02:43)I think we all have some purpose Purpose, yes.

Speaker 1 (02:45)I think ours is more so we only have purpose if we find it.
Speaker 2 (02:51)Well, I think everyone has purpose, right? Even if your purpose here is just to help somebody else be great.

Speaker 1 (02:58)I agree with that. I agree with that. But you still have to find that, that that's what you're supposed to do. Because in the world we live, what I've seen is that we always think it's about us. And we believe that our purpose can't be just in helping somebody else because it might not always be money in that. Helping our kids. There might not be any monetary value in making sure that those kids are great, or our nephews or nieces are great. Our sisters or brothers are much better than us if that's our gift. But we live in a world where we believe that we have to be monetarily compensated for our purpose, and we get lost in that one sometimes. And I think that's concerning.

Speaker 2 (03:42)t is the American culture overall, because purpose is not the same everywhere else. Yeah. Let's talk about religion for a second. People who are Hindusus or people who are Buddhist, purpose is completely different for them.

Speaker 1 (03:59)Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (04:00)Their purpose is never tied to money. We'll just use Buddhism because I love Buddhism, right? So we'll just use Buddhism for a minute. Their purpose is not to set out to follow this strict set of guidelines or rules, or they don't set out to find their life's purpose in doing for other people. Their life's purpose is to become the best person they can be while they are on this trip here.

Speaker 1 (04:23)that's the case, then purpose is cultural, too, then.
Speaker 2 (04:29)Absolutely. Yes. Like most things. I don't believe that, like I said before, purpose is not something that is set in stone. We've had this conversation a million times.It's.

Speaker 1 (04:41)Not set in stone.It's.
Speaker 2 (04:42)Not cookie cutter. And what works for me may not work for you.

Speaker 1 (04:46)Butt at the end of the day, we all got your view of, mine is. We don't have purpose until we find it. Yeah? It's nothing that we're given. Under certain circumstances because it's rare cases.
Speaker 2 (05:02)All right, so let me ask you this. It's rare cases. Let me ask you this. So we don't have purpose until we find it, right? But honestly, what if someone's purpose is to be here, to be a great mother, great father. Maybe your early life wasn't worth anything. It wasn't great, it wasn't grand, but you raised exceptional children.

Speaker 1 (05:23)But that's a part of purpose, though.
Speaker 2 (05:24)But what if we don't know that's our purpose?
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Speaker 1 (05:27)Well, I don't know what happens when we don't We know that's our purpose, but it can be a purpose because I believe that one right there is overlooked. It is. Because the culture is about monetary compensation and how that equates to purpose. But sometimes purpose is to give life to others, too. Absolutely. And that just means being a good parent. You know what? I'm going to make sure that that never happens. What happened to me as a kid will not happen going forward in the future. For my kid, I try to make sure that they learn enough where it doesn't happen to the kids they raise, which is my grandkids, or which are my grandkids.
Speaker 2 (06:08)You know what's funny about that?

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Speaker 1 (06:09)What?
Speaker 2 (06:10)To be those of us who are Southern. While you and I would call that purpose, Southerners call that breaking generational curses. It's the same exact thing.

Speaker 1 (06:19)Yeah. I believe that being a good parent can be a purpose. No compensation in it, but to break what has happened before. That's a great thing. And there's multiple ways to have purposes in this life.
Speaker 2 (06:33)Well, you know, but again, part of the definition for purpose is fulfillment and motivation. Being a parent, I would love for Our Children To be Better Than We Were.

Speaker 1 (06:47)I do. Look, I'm not bringing this up just because I love her to death. Okay, well, I am. But... Tream? No, Mama. It This one is about her. It was one day. I mean, it was not long ago before she passed. It was earlier. It had to be like... I can't remember exactly, but it was sometime before she passed. I was sitting in the chair picking up Xavier one day. I was picking him up, and she was sitting in her chair playing her casino game with her glasses right at the tip of her nose, not really caring about being bothered. But she didn't care if I bothered her. But I'm just looking at him, staring. I'm staring at her. And I looked at her. I'm like, Mama, I said, How did you do this? She said, Do what, baby? She said, Do what? I'm like, How did you maintain He said, How did you maintain this all these years? The house, us, Daddy, all of it. How did you do this? She said, Oh, well, baby. I'm not going to say the explicit, but you can feel it in a place if you all want to.

Speaker 1 (07:59)She said, I said, Well, sweetie, you, your sister, your father, this house, that was my effing job. He said, That's what I was supposed to do. And I love doing that. I did it all the time. But she did that, not necessarily because she was raised, but she cared about it.
Speaker 2 (08:23)She found meaning in it.
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Speaker 1 (08:24)She found meaning in it. She really did. And she never said that she was tired. Even though as an adult, when I look back, I can see that she was, but she never complained about it. She did it consistently all the time. And to me, she found purpose in that. She found meaning in that. It meant something. And so she wasn't rich, wealthy, but she was a damn good mama. Absolutely. She was damn good. Absolutely. And I never heard that woman complain about doing her job.

Speaker 2 (08:56)Its funny because I can fully attest to everything you're saying. Yeah. The That's how I met her when I was 16. Correct. So she had a direct hand in raising me. Yeah. From 20 years, exactly 20 years, because she passed right after my 36th birthday. Yeah. So it was exactly 20 years that lady raised me to be one of her own children.
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Speaker 1 (09:13)So that's the one for sure. And that one sticks with me because she never complained about that.
Speaker 2 (09:19)That has become a mantra in the house.

Speaker 1 (09:21)At all. She did what she did because that's what she was supposed to do. She never complained about it. She never complained about being a mother or doing her role as being a wife. She never complained about cleaning up, washing dishes, or doing anything. She never complained because you know what? That was her effing job.
Speaker 2 (09:40)Yeah, but you know what's funny about that, too, is there was another did everything that she was supposed to do, quote, unquote, supposed to do as a mother, as a wife, she found ways to still be an individual. She was extremely creative.